It's interesting because it seems that everyone I went to high school with, with the exception of 4 of my good friends, are getting hitched. It's interesting because the ones getting married or who are married are no real beauties... none of the guys and none of the girls. Most aren't ugly at all, but they're not drop dead gorgeous. I see a lot of people on TV getting married who are pleasantly plump, pimpled or snarl toothed. And I can't help but to wonder, what's wrong with me? Other than the fact I am bipolar, jealous and pretty high maintenance (emotionally), I'm attractive. I have nice teeth, a cute hair cut and colour, relatively clear skin (except for when I'm under a lot of stress), I go to school 5 days a week and work 2 so I don't expect anyone to pay my bills. I've never been pregnant, and I may not have huge tits but I do have a nice figure (I think) and a big ass (which I am very proud of)... so what's wrong with me? Is my personality ugly? It must be... I do come across as a bitch a lot of the times, but I work in a bar... and I see a lot of shady shit.
Anyway, my dream has always been to be married by 27 and now that I'm only 3 months away from my big quarter life crisis, it's starting to look like the end of life as I know it. How am I EVER going to meet and fall in love with in the two year time period I have left to achieve my goal? I, honestly, feel like a loser for being single at 24 years and 9 months. I feel like I'm about to accomplish my goal of getting a college degree (4 years too late), but that doesn't matter. I'm not at all proud or excited about it.
I always seem to pick the guys who aren't right for me. They're all educationless wanna be's who have this dream world they're always living in. Am I not finding the right guy because I go for looks and not personality?? Is it because losers are attracted to me?? Am I too picky? I'm sorry but if I can get my college degree, anyone can, and that's probably the most important thing I look for in a man: education. Because, let's face it, my spending habits don't allow me to shower others with gifts or generously pay their bills... the first guy I dated was in college but dropped out (and had a tiny penis)... second guy was an alcoholic who was barely responsible enough to show up to his job as an HVAC technician... third guy was an illegal immigrant with no college, working as a cook (and still does, 5 years later).... fourth guy was a drug swinging, closet homosexual who made a living off of stealing other servers' books; he became a realtor later and, not to knock it, but come on... that takes little to no education.... fifth guy lived in his mom's basement and played WoW all day, deciding to prolong school, didn't have a job, couldn't hold a job because of his temper, went crazy due to the military, etc. STILL hasn't graduated... sixth guy was a bartender, IS a bartender and will always BE a bartender, hoping to get noticed as a scriptwriter (in Northern VA?!?! Please!!!!), oh, and he's a coke head.... and the most recent guy, the seventh guy, he's a dreamer. He has been in and out of college for as long as I have, plus one year, STILL isn't anywhere NEAR graduating, has moved back and forth to Nashville over the past 5 years of his life, went through 8 jobs in the period we dated (on/off for 1 1/2 years), is chasing a dream of being a lead guitarist and going on tour, though, nothing has come of that and this is his 3rd or 4th time back in Nashville.... I just don't know where the hell to find a good, educated, honest, quality man who is handsome and caring!!!!
Someone!!! Please!!!! Tell me WTF I'm doing wrong!!!!!
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